KR6AI Kevin

Winnerof the Annual W6SFM Bogus Story Contest Award 2016

A few years ago our small radio club was assisting the local Red Cross during a bad series of storms which had completely knocked out all power in the small town of Nowhere,CA. We were in contact with FEMA and they were trying to locate us on their GPS system without much luck. They did promise us that they would have a plan of action ready for us in about 3 weeks. Well next thing you know a particularly violent lightning strike took out our generator. This was not too much of a problem because we had battery back up. That is until FEMA started sending all the forms to fill out so that they could send a rapid response team from New York. All that data going back and forth was quite a drain on our battery. Well now we were in a pickle as our batteries were getting depleted and we were realizing that FEMA thought we were in Nowhere, New Jersey. Quickly realizing that we needed to find a way to recharge our batteries ASAP to let FEMA know we were in California not New Jersey we huddled up trying to brainstorm a solution. Suddenly one of our members jumped up and started mumbling things about Tesla and other incoherent ramblings while rapidly punching formulas into his ever present scientific calculator. In just a few seconds he screamed I got it and before we could blink he grabbed a J pole, Big Mike, and a power cord. While we all were looking a little befuddled, he quickly pushed Big Mike out the door with the Antenna and wire in hand. Our member quickly explained to us as he connected the power cord wires to our battery that he had calculated that Big Mike had enough body mass to reduce the voltage level from a lightning strike to where it should quickly charge our battery without destroying it. Before he could finish there was a mad dash to the door by all of us to rescue poor Big Mike. Of course that is precisely when the lighting struck. I think you all can guess it did not go well for Big Mike or our battery. Being a good time to take matters in hand, I walked over to our resident genius and grabbed the calculator out of his pocket. Tearing the 9 volt battery out of it, I quickly connected it to one of our QRP rigs and was able to contact FEMA via CW and let them know we were in California not New Jersey. They quickly dispatched a FEMA team from a hotel 5 miles away where they had been attending a culinary convention. Well in case you were wondering, Mike did survive and he is getting some color back in his hair. The club graciously replaced the shoes that he was blown out of. The battery was eventually located in orbit by the space station which was able to recover it and identify it by the club call sign written on it. Needing a power supply for a vital piece of equipment the ISS crew made good use of this lucky find. The battery had enough juice in it to power the vacuum flush mechanism indefinitely. Our club genius did in fact get a research grant from NASA to develop this battery technology. It has not gotten anywhere, since Big Mike is not willing to participate in the scientific studies. Kevin KR6AI

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